| An Open Letter About Breast Cancer. |
On Sunday June 26th at 6:48am I got the phone call that my sister Pam Tuttle
(Pamela Horwath, her maiden name) had passed away. You may have gotten a call
like this and remember it as clear as the moment itself. I knew the moment the phone
rang why I was getting this early call. I was up most of the night waking for no reason.
Every 2-3 hours I would wake up and have this need to look our window. Each time I
looked at the view if the lake and wonder why I was up? My brother in law was on the
other end of the phone. With a sigh I said" she's gone?!" "Yea, we were holding hands
and she squeezed my hand and was gone..." his voice trailing off...
Why am I sharing this intimate phone call and my feelings with the world? We
see this ribbon daily on a car, truck or whatever is passing by. If this God awful disease
hasn't touched a love one, you are truly blessed. My sister didn't die of it, but it did kill
her! Like a pebble in a pond the ripple effects are truly horrendous! A 54 year old
wonderful person is gone. I watched this beautiful woman with strength beyond belief go
through a living hell. The treatments that we've all heard about, loss of hair, teeth,
energy were drained and just taken away. She's gone, but the ripples keep coming!
The ripples...The pain is left as just one ripple. The daily tears that are shed by
loved ones are a ripple. The thoughts of her before she was I'll is such a faint memory
all but replaced by our last conversation. I had talked to her for the last time and she
just listened as I told her how much I loved her. She would mumble something, trying in
desperation to be understood, but I couldn't understand it.
My brother in law is also a ripple... He's lost in emotion. He's had very little time to
work as he stayed by my sisters side through this. He told me that throughout the night,
my sister would take deep breaths and stop breathing for a minute, then awake. Pam
did this 3 times on her last night. Funny how 3 times that night I awoke to look out the
window....
Talking to my niece is another ripple. She's a 20 year old beautiful young
woman that is a spitting image of my sister. She knows her mom is gone, as are the
hopes of her mom someday walking her down the aisle. She's in college, a sophomore,
and the reason for writing this.
My reason for this...You may know someone with cancer. They may have bone,
breast lung or brain cancer (Pam had all of these cancers at the end). The family
struggles day to day both emotionally and financially. Sure it would be nice to stop and
visit to break up the day to day misery, but they may need monetary support too.
Interesting how we watch TV and see ads for dogs & cats that need your
support, or a person in a third world that needs your donation! Your neighbor may need
support or your friend or your family, but those kittens just yank those tears, so you
send them donations!
Why not help people directly? We've given to the American Cancer Society for
many years, and I'm sure Pam did benefit from the research, but her family, like millions
of other families need help! They need real, monetary help!! If you were to call my
brother in law today, he would tell you he's fine...I can do this...but in reality, after the
pride is stripped away, he's broke as the day is long! He's broke emotionally &
financially! I'm not asking for you to donate to my niece or my brother in law, but if you
know someone with this awful disease, help THEM. If will make YOU feel fantastic and
make a real difference in their lives!
Thank you
Dave Horwath
(Pamela Horwath, her maiden name) had passed away. You may have gotten a call
like this and remember it as clear as the moment itself. I knew the moment the phone
rang why I was getting this early call. I was up most of the night waking for no reason.
Every 2-3 hours I would wake up and have this need to look our window. Each time I
looked at the view if the lake and wonder why I was up? My brother in law was on the
other end of the phone. With a sigh I said" she's gone?!" "Yea, we were holding hands
and she squeezed my hand and was gone..." his voice trailing off...
Why am I sharing this intimate phone call and my feelings with the world? We
see this ribbon daily on a car, truck or whatever is passing by. If this God awful disease
hasn't touched a love one, you are truly blessed. My sister didn't die of it, but it did kill
her! Like a pebble in a pond the ripple effects are truly horrendous! A 54 year old
wonderful person is gone. I watched this beautiful woman with strength beyond belief go
through a living hell. The treatments that we've all heard about, loss of hair, teeth,
energy were drained and just taken away. She's gone, but the ripples keep coming!
The ripples...The pain is left as just one ripple. The daily tears that are shed by
loved ones are a ripple. The thoughts of her before she was I'll is such a faint memory
all but replaced by our last conversation. I had talked to her for the last time and she
just listened as I told her how much I loved her. She would mumble something, trying in
desperation to be understood, but I couldn't understand it.
My brother in law is also a ripple... He's lost in emotion. He's had very little time to
work as he stayed by my sisters side through this. He told me that throughout the night,
my sister would take deep breaths and stop breathing for a minute, then awake. Pam
did this 3 times on her last night. Funny how 3 times that night I awoke to look out the
window....
Talking to my niece is another ripple. She's a 20 year old beautiful young
woman that is a spitting image of my sister. She knows her mom is gone, as are the
hopes of her mom someday walking her down the aisle. She's in college, a sophomore,
and the reason for writing this.
My reason for this...You may know someone with cancer. They may have bone,
breast lung or brain cancer (Pam had all of these cancers at the end). The family
struggles day to day both emotionally and financially. Sure it would be nice to stop and
visit to break up the day to day misery, but they may need monetary support too.
Interesting how we watch TV and see ads for dogs & cats that need your
support, or a person in a third world that needs your donation! Your neighbor may need
support or your friend or your family, but those kittens just yank those tears, so you
send them donations!
Why not help people directly? We've given to the American Cancer Society for
many years, and I'm sure Pam did benefit from the research, but her family, like millions
of other families need help! They need real, monetary help!! If you were to call my
brother in law today, he would tell you he's fine...I can do this...but in reality, after the
pride is stripped away, he's broke as the day is long! He's broke emotionally &
financially! I'm not asking for you to donate to my niece or my brother in law, but if you
know someone with this awful disease, help THEM. If will make YOU feel fantastic and
make a real difference in their lives!
Thank you
Dave Horwath
